What I find most difficult is putting into words the many things I wish to retell. Whether it is from Ben jumping on me as I fell onto the ground after landing a double pirouette, or whether it was how Amajuba was one of the most amazing pieces of performance art I have ever seen in my short life. It seems that here in the city, there are so many different things that happen that I could not ever justify with heroic or descriptive words. (Though, I will always try.)

I am living where my sexual orientation does not define who I am but is just one of the many things that I am. There is so much in the life of art that everything can be seen in ten thousand ways. I have become known as the "Ohhhhh my Gooooood" boy to the film crew here at the dorm. It is interesting how being in the right place at the right time affects your reputation as either comedic or a bitch for the length of a program.

I have met so many artists here in the city. Just the other day Martin Short told me and the other drama kids that we will always doubt ourselves, but - as someone else so rightfully put - it is just a little monster that we wipe under the rug every morning.

It is not as if my life has changed while being here, but more that I have changed my life in the right direction. My grandmother was right to have that horrid face when she heard that I wanted to go into politics - now I seem to mirror that expression when I think of what a wrong choice that would have been for me. My involvement with politics and activism over the past year has been simply my doing the right thing to do at the time it should be done. The fact that it gained this widespread reputation (and I think I realize that when getting a note from Chad Allen and one of the actors in Queer As Folk) is not to say that it was what I wanted to do for life. I have and will always follow my heart. My heart told me to organize citizens in Culpeper...so I did. My heart tells me to return to my dreams that I will not dream - but that I will live and manifest as an artist.

I would rather be a poor performer than a wealthy servant to the political corruption of our country. I like being on this edge of the sword that allows me to jump into the other side as opposed to being stuck on the hilt.

Need I say more?

I wish I had found more time to write as there have been so many things I want to say and still have not had the opportunity to say them. It feels as if I was tortured from a dangling pen with blank pages being torn from a book. I will write here freely, please forgive me if I digress. This is but a train of many thoughts.

Before I came here I do not feel as if I truly knew who I was or if I truly realized what I would become. I know that before I came here, I, alongside so many of my peers was one who consistently worried about my future and where things would end up. There are so many times in our lives where we sit and wonder what the hell we are doing. I never saw myself in this different type of light but now I feel as if I truly know who I am aside from the politics, the acting, the singing, the dancing, the theatre, the media - I am, when in naked form or not, an artist.

There was some strange epiphany that had a foundation laid over the previous weeks that convened tonight in a whirlwind of emotion. I never realized how much the sensitivity of humanity was such a previous gift and what such beauty it was to witness a simple life that could be so different. It is not until we step outside ourselves and realize that we are not the only ones living that we truly understand that we are not the only ones living. We realize that our lifespan was equal, more or less, than that of someone else who lives completely differently. I realize that art can be nasty, violent, invasive and downright wrong. Sometimes there is no such thing as sensitivity, there is only realization and truth and the blatant form of derogatory remarks that seek to break down the soul of people who just do not get it. There is a dear friend of mine here (ML), and I hold her close to my heart and I always will. She is someone that I look up to with aspiration. She is truly amazing in my eyes and she will always strive for what is best in life.

This is great.

This is beautiful.

This is beauty, life is, and we are all living in its masking dance.

I realized before I came here my chances of actually becoming one of those notable stars was a rarity among people in this industry, and though it is a delight is not necessarily fulfilling. After coming to Tisch, I realize more and more who I am as an artist. I realize that to be successful in this industry is to be the artist that I am and can be and to improve upon my instrument, to become fully comftorable and aware of my environment with what I have to offer it while seeing and using what it has to offer me. This family, this team of teachers has opened up a new door that I never thought I would see. They have shown me a new way of looking at this intense artform that I can tone through the education in CAP. Yes, studying musical theatre is a dream, but studying musical theatre in this atmosphere with these people, in this pattern is not just a dream, it is a goal. More to follow.

I will die, I will die, and my family will not know where my grave is

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Jacob sang those words in purely spoken Russian as if he had just been singing them as a little boy so many years ago. He was a survivor, and surely fought his own battles during World War II to stay alive. After seeing his father die before his own eyes, and after coming as close to death before crossing the brink, Jacob lived to tell the tale and survive one of the gravest horrors of human history: the Holocaust. Unfortunately, his family did not survive - his sister died leaving behind only her most eloquently spoken words in life that even surprised the Rabbis when she was an adolescent. Sarah Fishkin's diary was lost in one of the concentration camps. After liberation while Jacob was attending a Seder meal the traditional words were spoken and asked "Is anything different about this night?” that is when Jacob was given his sister's diary.

Many years later, Jacob sought out Lee Gundersheimer at the Tisch School of the Arts and would not leave Lee's office until Lee agreed to write a play based on Sarah's journal. Of course everyone thought of the same exact thing, Anne Frank - it has been done before. But there was something different about Sarah, her attitude towards life, her fearlessness and the memoirs of Jacob made for an interesting story written as 9/11 terrorized New York City and the nation as a whole. The result of these events produced one of Lee's completed works, a straight play titled "Jude" based on the diary of Sarah Fishkin and 9/11.

Last week, every student in the drama department was given a copy of the script. The staging was very experimental (ETW) and made for an interpretative and artistic moving piece from a new perspective in the Holocaust. All 64 drama students gathered in the black box theatre in at Tisch and in walked an elderly little man with a wide smile. Jacob came in and sat right next to me with a grin, holding a copy of Sarah's diary which was written in Yiddish.

During the reading, Jacob shared with us some of the horrors and memories of his lifetime, most of which I can not share here for no justice could be done from second-hand story-telling. Lee told us that on the day of Jacob's liberation, Jacob was lying in his bed at the camp literally dying from disease, people were eating other people out of sheer starvation, and it was raining profusely. Jacob survived an unforgiving experience that he describes as something he should have feared more than he did at the time.

At the end of the session, Jacob asked us a question: "Do you think the Holocaust should be forgotten?” reminding us of the Jewish tradition to break glass to remember the destruction of The Temple. It is interesting and fascinating to me that people consider this question. Why do people think the horrors of the Holocaust should be forgotten when we learn from the mistakes in history (that is, some of us) so as not to repeat them?

I leaned over to Jacob after the session was dismissed and I whispered, "Thank you."

Jacob looked up at me smiling and said, "No...thank you." I have been given Sarah's story to keep and to share.

I kept having trouble with the song that Bill Daugherty, my vocal performance teacher, had assigned me. "Take Me To The World" from Evening Primrose by Stephen Sondheim was completely repetitive. Every line and lyric was similar in wording but somewhat different and the tone would change and come full circle at the end and for some reason this became so unrealistically complicated for me to learn, aside from having little to no time to learn it. This in mind, I completely fucked it up the first time that I had to perform it for the class; I could not remember the words. Bill said that, in my defense, it was excellent that I stayed in character despite the fact that I stood there not knowing what the words were as Doyle, the accompanist, awaited for my memory to kick in. Unfortunately I thought about it so much that my mind became busy that day and I could not get the words. Bill was completely pissed off and threw his hands in the air saying I would perform it first thing next class. Shit. I was completely frustrated, and I kept on thinking what the hell am I doing here? Can I really do this? Why do I doubt? Is doubt good or bad? I felt so singled out in a classroom full of some of the most talented teenagers in the country.

I was determined to show Bill that I owned this song. For the next two days, non-stop, I practiced over and over again the lyrics, the words, and the monologue turning it from a song into a written piece of work meant for a play. This piece of poetry became speech, and there was no longer a song. I twisted every vowel to the sound I wanted, exaggerated the consonants so as to connect them to the vowels and I created the world around me wherever I was. Where I stood I could see the birds that make a sound and where all around things growing in the ground. I wanted to be taken to the world! Let me see the world! I want to see the world with clouds! Out where I can push through crowds! Take me to the world!

The day finally came when I was expected to open the class with my song. I leaned over to Natalie several times whispering to her "I can't get these words, I just can't, but I am going to sure as hell try. I have to, I have it, and I’ll get it." I put the sheet music on the piano for Doyle, Bill looked at me and gave me a slight sigh, trying to hide his expression and remain neutral.

I stood in the spotlight in the darkened room. All eyes on me now, this was one of my rare moments in life where I get to perform, where no matter what there is a stage below me and I am the stage for the walls. I opened my mouth, allowing myself to breathe, and introduced the song.

"Shit," I shook the rings on my fingers, "Let me take these off."

Bill smiled, "Yes, it would be helpful to not have any jewelry on. Be neutral, create the picture for us."

I breathed, opening my mouth - are in down - up, up - down - up. Out. I nodded, and Doyle played the introduction, moving his fingers slyly across the ivory keys. Music rang throughout the room, bouncing off the walls of the studio with perfect acoustics. I opened the song, I took the brush across the canvas and then I stopped. Alive, in character, but silent. Crickets, needles dropping and I stood. I stood without any hope of resurrection from where my grave began to form. I could not remember the words. Shit. Bill whispered slowly, "You know this."

No.

I.

Don't.

Wait.

It Clicked. I picked it up, continuing the song, seeing the world I wanted to see, holding the hand of that lady who would take me to the world! I saw the living things all around growing from the ground, the trees, and the flowers. I saw the birds singing in a spring equinox. I saw the whole scene around me and before I knew it, after I hit every note and landed every key - the song was over. To my surprise, people were screaming and cheering, and I did not quite understand. I jumped out of character and stood blankly awaiting for Bill's criticism and madness for my forgetting the song.

"Wow," he said. Everything was silent, "You know what, Tully? You just earned my respect." Everyone clapped. I earned his respect? What the hell? How did I manage that? "This is what everyone needs to do, earn my respect. I have never seen anyone be so invested in this song before, most people just stand there and sing it, but you were invested - I saw everything you saw."

Wow. Either he is a great actor, or he is serious - maybe both. "I seriously thought you were going to flop on this song." Bill allowed me to choose what I wanted to sing next as a gift having earned his respect - which was mutual. I asked for an up-tempo which he responded with his prayerful whisper in the ear from the Lord above with "Proud Lady" from The Baker's Wife. Bill said this song was a very difficult song but he knows I can do it and is even giving me a week to learn it.

I get it now. I understand. There have never been so many things awakening inside and around me before I came to CAP that I realize that this is where I belong. I have known it since the moment I walked through those doors at Tisch, till every doubt ceases in the flames of thought and performance. Every line and lyric has moved me here.

Excuse my absence for the past couple of days but time only allows for twenty-four hours in the day, nearly half of which are used for sleeping, eating, and traveling (especially with city life.) I think I have ranged a pool of emotions in the past couple of days that could add up to those felt spanned over the course of months.

On Sunday we woke up early so that we could have a nice picnic in the breezy Central Park in the middle of the city. This by far is one of the most beautiful parks of any city park there is. You escape into what becomes a piece of home for some, and in my case a real wave of what feels like Virginia till returning to the skyscrapers and polluted non-breathable air of the city. We then took a visit to The Met where I nearly cried when I saw my favorite painter since I was in third grade, Monet, with one of his "Lilies" hanging on the wall. One room over, Van Gogh’s work covered the walls as well as his infamous "Irises" and "Self-Portrait". We also saw a lot of ancient Egyptian, Greek, Cyprus, and Spanish sculptures as well as a plethora of modern art.




Click for larger image.
From Left to Right:Irises (Van Gogh), Lilies (Monet), Self-Protrait (Van Gogh), Rooftop View of The Met, Splatter Paint, Spectrum

After The Met we made way to The Public, a theatre on Lafayette Street just walking distance from my dorm where we would see School of the Americas. What is so interesting about this theatre is the guy who founded it. Fifty years ago, Joseph Papp started producing free Shakespeare shows at a time when there was nothing else of its kind in the city. His name became so well known and, as Lee Gundersheimer so eloquently described he was an "excellent salesman", that he convinced the city to lease to him an old library for $1 a year with the promise to turn it into a theatre. And today The Public is notorious in the theatre world, contains four stages, and holds Off-Broadway productions.

School of the Americas, a play about Che Guevara, is by far one of the greatest plays I have seen in New York, and was my first Off-Broadway experience. The theatre we were in inside the library could seat 250 people, and was completely intimate - not to mention the fact that I was two rows in front of the first row, Row AA - literally against what looked like a two feet deep stage. I could not quite understand how the whole show would take place on this small wooden stage that could probably only fit about three people on if they stood side by side, but I had to give it a chance.

The production took an awkward toll initially. A short Mexican man came onstage, took the microphone and asked for us to turn off our cell phones in Spanish. He then proceeded to take the microphone to a CD player, press start, turn off the house lights, and walked out the door. Suddenly, a movie came on the wall directly behind the "stage." The opening of the show had two women in front speaking to each other, obviously Mexican descent. After the scene both exited and this was where the surprised began and the stage truly opened up - the rest I will leave for you to find out for yourself but let me tell you I have never dropped my mouth for that long at any show.

At intermission I decided to read the biographies in my Playbill which I had failed to do before the show. I looked at one actress of the cast of six that I thought was particularly intriguing. Patricia Velasquez was stunning in her role and has this prescience and familiar face that I could not quite pinpoint. It was not until I read her bio that I realized she played Anck Su Namun in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns Just standing two feet away from me was one of the most intriguing women in the film industry whose appearance was brief, and here she was starring in an Off-Broadway show in a historical theatre that only sits 250. She is truly dedicated to the art - it is not about fame, it is about the performance.


Patricia Velasquez as Anck Su Namun in "The Mummy" (1999)

I think what really made my night is the fact that none other than Meryl Streep herself was in the other room rehearsing for the upcoming production of Mother Courage for "Shakespeare In The Park." It was an amazing night to say the least.

There is no doubt that this program is one of the most intense experiences of my life. We are not just learning 'dances', we are learning precisely choreographed dances that have been seen in Broadway productions, such as Footloose, which Ben actually performed in before Aida, and Wicked.

We are worked till we bleed and scream and push ourselves beyond what we thought we were capable of. There is no inch in my body that is not sore, but it is the greatest feeling in the world. I have learned in a week what will span for a lifetime as a performer. Everyone here is incredibly talented, but we all bring something different to the table that no one else has. We all have something unique within us that will outshine the norm.

"Stars are not famous, stars are the people who shine" - Bill Daugherty (Vocal Performance teacher, said during class)

Yesterday was our first day off from classes and was a heavy sigh of relief for many of us. The week was rough, full of rigorous classes and challenging physical and mental obstacles. That is what this program is all about, obstacles and learning to transcend from what we never thought we could be to what we can be. This is not about being the best, but being the best of who we are and using our instruments to create our art.

Pirates of the Caribbean II did not keep my interest at all. After fifteen minutes of being in the movie theatre just down the road, I fell asleep and stayed that way for the remainder of the movie. I heard it was horrible and just a prequel to the third movie which better pickup the storyline because it seems this movie ruined a lot of feelings we used to feel for many of the characters. Hollywood meets Disney.


Eric Owens as Grendel, and Shadow Grendals: Jonathan Hays, David Gagnon, and Charles Temkey

However, the day was picked up in evening when we made our way to the infamous Lincoln Center to see Grendel, and opera based off of the book "Grendel" which is a spin-off of "Beowulf" only in the eye's of Grendel the monster. This was my first opera and I was not sure if I would enjoy the show or not. However, having read a number of articles and reviews in the New York Times about the show, I was very excited to see it. More so than the show was the set, which I had read about in detail about its intricate movements and computerized controlled machines.



Grendel witnesses the mourning of a hero

Being on the fourth tier was not that bad. Although there seemed to be no definite melody to the opera, as opera is a specific art-form, the artwork of the show made for one of the greatest shows I have ever seen onstage. Through a combination of ingenious lighting, flawless dancing, pure singing, and a truly awesome set there was no part of the show that did not exceed my expectations. This is a must see if you are in the city anytime soon. The performance is brilliant and keeps you on the edge of your seat. There is never an expected moment, aside of course for the common storyline. Julie Taymor's interpretation of this opera that she and her husband, Elliot Goldenthal (Composer), created really brought this story alive in the city.



Denyce Graves as The Dragon, entering on the tongue of the large drag head and decking an amazing mezzo-soprano sound

There is no doubt; this was different than many operas. There were brief moments of blunt humor. The old English added a poetic sound to many of the songs and served as strong contrast to the English speech. This was used to show the humanity of Beowulf in contrast to the peoples of the earth stuck in the old English poetry. Grendel's story relates to that of the Wicked Witch in Wicked, misunderstood and no true villain who can not help but go insane.

Notable favorites in Grendel:
Laura Claycomb (Queen Wealtheow) - Voice very powerful, unique, and pure
Richard Croft (The Shaper) - Voice was as beautiful as sin
Denyce Graves (The Dragon) - Character, wit, and that mezzo-soprano voice
Desmond Richardson (Beowulf) - A dancer without flaw

A couple nights ago we saw Martin McDonagh's newest play The Lieutenant of Inishmore, which recently hit Broadway after being picked up from the Off-Broadway production. Upon arriving at the Lyceum theatre right on Broadway in the center of Times Square, the atmosphere became morbid and dark. The pre-set for the show was naked onstage; slate covered the entire stage with a stout traditional Irish house just down center on the stage and split in half. I had a very personal reaction to the architecture and makeup of the set; it seemed to draw some sort of personal internal contrast with the sound of a radio-glazed Irish song in the background. Light as bright as daylight pierced through the windows and cast a distorted shape of the window on the floor of the house which mixed into the slated stage.



This show brought together a combination of the most gruesome stage-scenes mixed into the impulsive feeling of terrifically choreographed stage combat. The Irish accents were right on key, aside from the whiney voice of Domhall Gleeson who played the seventeen year-old Davey. Don't get me wrong, his acting was awesome and his interpretation of the character was wonderful, but he definitely had an Idina Menzel gasp for breath every three seconds.

This is the most bloody and gruesome show I have ever seen, and that counts movies as well. There is nothing that comes close to the gore that has found theatre though McDonagh's intense play that tells the tale of a mad Irishman who loves his cat more than he should. Not to mention the fact that, Mr. Ed, the cat who played in Sabrina the Teenage Witch, also has a minor part in the show - definitely worth seeing. Of course, there is the one moment - where two elder couples left the theatre out of sheer disgust - when Mairead (Alison Pill) becomes the Carrie of the stage. Kill bill meets the bloodbath of The Shining and the first few rows are splattered with blood.

Welcome to live theatre, folks.

Jazz began with the intricate workout based around abdominal muscle build-up. The stress of learning a choreographed dance within a short period of time and near to no time to practice it built-up, however I seemed to pick up the steps with ease this morning save the last fast few at the end of "Wild Party"...the important part is I enjoy doing it, and that is how my teacher, Ben Cameron, has really highlighted.

Ben Cameron is currently performing in the Broadway hit WICKED. He has also appeared on Broadway in AIDA and FOOTLOOSE. He has toured with productions of TOMMY, STATE FAIR, and FOOTLOOSE. He has taught courses and master classes from Arizona to Germany and back, including with CAP21 for their full time Conservatory students.

Ben produces more than just a simple method of teaching, but a unique way of showing us important aspects of dance: poise, health, and most of all CONFIDENCE. It looks much better to be doing the wrong step with a theatrical facial expression saying you know what the hell you are doing than doing the wrong step with a stumped face. The releif after the class was a drop on the floor celebration that in a matter of minutes the dreaded dance belt would soon be off. I walked into the bathroom just outside the black box and threw off the jazz pants followed by the belt.

"I AM FREE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs just as Ben walked in the bathroom. He asked what the hell I was talking about so I explained, and I knew he would be able to relate as a dancer on Broadway, the terror of the dance belt. After a combination of laughter and sympathy he explained that he - as well as many other dancers/performers - just wears biker shorts. Now will someone tell me why I did not think about it? Of course it was not on the list of required attire but who would be checking for a dance belt anyway?

Sleep becomes me.

"This is something I give to all of my students," - Lee Gundersheimer, a master of ceremonies and the teacher for New York Theatre handed out freshly copied papers with a quote from George Bernard Shaw on "The Actor's Goals":

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a might one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

If there is one thing I could leave with from this program...

Well I suppose that is just it. There is not one thing I can leave with or take from this program and bring within myself, sharing it with others through talent, art, method, and technique. The fact is, there are many things - not just one - that I have already taken away from theatre in the city in just the four short days I have been here thus far. There are times when I feel so doubtful, so frustrated and I realize that this will be my biggest obstacle this month: frustration. The method of teaching dance is through professional audition/rehearsal technique - step demonstration, step repeat, step performance, addition, addition.

I became decently overwhelmed the other day during the placement auditions for the dance, and of course was placed in the lower intermediate/novice section (which is best for me seeing as my professional dance experience is minimal.) Ballet is slow and flows with some of the movements of the body and I seem to be picking it up well, especially for a beginner. Tap is a bit different in the way that I am learning to shift body weight and having to do it at a rapid pace. A few of the people in the class have been experienced tap dancers for a couple years, and here I come along with many others in the class with little to no experience. This is definitely my favorite form of dance, because it makes noise. However, there is little to no time to practice as the breaks in between classes and shows range at most twenty minutes. Time step: stomp, hop, leap, flap, step, repeat. My goal for the next couple of days is to master the weight shifting so the steps will flow and the pace will progress. Technique and taste, style and confidence.


Sutton Foster and company in Drowsy Chaperone at the Marquis Theatre.

Last night we saw Drowsy Chaperone, this was the first time that when I saw a Broadway show it was the original cast. The show itself is ingenious really, the setup of the stage, the dialogue in conjunction with the show within the show. "Show Off" was definitely one of the best numbers in the show, and the stop-go format during sequences of the show allowed for the true capability of the actor to jump in and out of character in a split second shine. Afterwards, we had the opportunity to speak with some of the cast, such as Sutton Foster (who has appeared as Millie in Thoroughly Modern Millie.)

There seems to be nothing I could simply give away all at one time so allow for me to weave spice in future entries of the journey into what Frank Ventura (CAP 21 Artistic Director) calls the geek-dom for musical theatre in the world.

Sore.

Broadway.

Homework at midnight.

There was a ridiculous amount of steps in order to establish an internet connection - but it finally worked. I'm still working on the tape for the ethernet cable which has found pleasure in falling off the wall throughout the night.

There it goes again.

Yesterday consisted of the move-in and orientation. The wonderful thing about people in theatre is we all 'get it.' As Lee put so eloquently we all understand each other (finally) and somehow, everyone seems to have known each other for a long time. There is a mutual respect for different aspects of the Arts; some that many may think was not art at all but here at Tisch is found very sacred. Censorship is a thing of the past and a scapegoat for mistakes or holding back. Unlike some places which I will not mention, monologues and songs need not be clean, but rather tasteful. That is a minor celebration for many artists: a place to celebrate art freely and truely.

Among theatrical chaos, teenagers in New York City, and an endless sea of creativity; there is a strong sense of community alive. This is no mere 'first day of school' that clouds the memory of any grade-schooler or freshman for that matter; this is a step in the right direction towards free expression of thought and performance.

It has been repeated throughout the short-born course of the program; "this will be one of the most intense experiance of your life: you will work hard and harder than you ever thought you could." I believe it. The schedule for today consists of short meals and placement in three aspects of dancing (ballet, tap, jazz), and then performing monologues and two songs (up-tempo and ballad).

For the past few weeks I have been working on the opening monologue from Eat Your Heart Out where Charlie speaks of his dislike for opening a show cold, his stereotypical job as a waiter, and portrays the reality of an average, everyday person. Aside from this I have chosen The Joker (Roar of the Greasepaint, the Smell of the Crowd), a song I have sung in a variety show before, as my up-tempo, and The Impossible Dream (Man of LaMancha) as my ballad. I feel prepared, and hope my portrayel is as true.

Welcome to school for the arts. Breakfast comes at eight.

Cross-Post from my main blog posted on May 17, 2006.

Seventeen is such an innocent number when I am on the brink of becoming legally responsible for every single action that I make. I can confidently say today was one of the most memorable birthdays I have ever had. I know often that people complain they dislike their birthday, however I do not concur. I believe that a birthday is the celebration of life, your friends and family want to celebrate your coming into (and in my case out-to) this world.

Last night I got a strange letter from a particular school that I spoke of in a previous entry upon the inception of this blog. In one line I stated my desire to attend New York University's Tisch School of the Arts CAP 21 Musical Theatre Studio, (kind of like GLBTQIAA it is NYUTSACAP21MTS). Not too long ago did I apply for one of the most competitive positions in the school's summer arts program for High School juniors and rising seniors. I applied for the exact studio I wished to attend for college (which had died since political activism shot into the picture, and up until very recently has outshined that former desire). The application process was strenuous, and from what I heard, parallel - if not worse - than a standard college application.

The letter from last night spoke of travel arrangements, the length of the program, house check-in and other various details. I was completely confused as to why I had received this e-mail when I had not even heard back from the admissions office as to whether or not I had been accepted. I had since then even forgotten of the program seeing as I had scheduled to attend the University of Virginia's Sorensen Institute for Political Leadership at the same time (though a shorter program).

After contacting the admissions office, I was re-forwarded previous e-mails I had for some reason not received. I anxiously waited at a school computer when finally the e-mail came through saying I had been waitlisted. I thought that was much better than a flat-out rejection. I pressed print and went over to the printer. The first page came out "Page 1 of 6" ... six? I was confused, I had definitely not printed a six page e-mail.

Soon enough I found out I forgotten to scroll down. The next e-mail was pure insanity:

Dear Tully Satre,

I am very pleased to inform you that you have been removed from the wait-list and have been accepted to the 2006 Tisch Summer High School Program – Musical Theatre Performance at Collaborative Arts Project 21.

Briefly, I would like to share with you how we selected our students for this summer. We chose 32 students from a pool of over 184 applicants. As the numbers indicate, the program is highly sought after and competitive. We looked for students who are disciplined, motivated, and energetic; able to work well in an ensemble environment; able to contribute to the growth of fellow students; able to communicate their maturity and readiness for this program; and willing to work and live in a supervised environment.

You should expect to spend 4 intensive and fulfilling weeks with us in a highly structured and supervised environment. Your practical training will occupy 28 hours of in-studio time per week with additional hours for a weekly seminar with NYU Administration and Faculty, as well as time spent outside of class preparing your assignments. Your evenings and weekends will be occupied with experiences directly related to the art and culture that is New York City - Broadway shows, off-Broadway shows, film screenings, museums, workshops, parks, performance art, and more.

I ran down three flights of steps. Stopped midway and sat down in the staircase to re-read the letter and be sure, jumped back up falling down some stairs and the picking myself up as I flew through two sets of doors and down into the drama room where my drama coach was piling through the prop closet. I screamed at her and she gave me a look of intense desperation as she waited to hear what I said. Upon telling her the news, she screamed and nearly burst into a million pieces with joy. I have to say, without her, I would never have gotten this far in anything. I knew my parents were not exactly the best people to tell first (seeing as two non-refundable deposits have been made to UVA for Sorensen), it was time to call upon the higher powers. I telephoned my grandmother in Vienna, Virginia who began crying upon hearing of my acceptance to the program. She and I discussed tactics, as she left to arrive in Culpeper. We took my parents out to dinner and told them the news. We've planned, we've devised, and we've won.

It is off to New York City for a third of my summer beginning in July and streaming through the beginning of August, and resulting in six college credits of the performing arts of musical theatre.

Moral of the story: Always remember to scroll.